Been ….a while….


Sooooo its been an age, an eon, a while, a LONG DAMN TIME…since I have posted. I blame 4 boys, full-time job, house and anxiety….and video games…shhhhhhh (DAMN YOU SKYRIM!…AND FABLE II,III…AND WITCHER III….omg stop). But I’m getting back into it! SO lets see what has happened the last couple of years.



Charlie is now entering 2nd grade. This is kid is awesome at school. He loves gaining teacher approval, is good at listening and learning, can use some help with writing but just rocks at the school stuff. He LOVES Minecraft, Roblox and Pokemon cards. I’m trying to get him into a sport but he tells me he is not an athlete. So we shall see. He is my key helper. Helps with his brothers. Helps with housework. He also likes to be a pain in #2’s (Ethan’s) butt and taunts him, but also they are besties. He is convinced he is smarter than me ( and not even a damn teenager) because he is in school and I am not. Brat. But yeah, love em. Very laid back. Very eager to please.


Ethan. oh Ethan. This kid is a charmer. He charms me, his gramma, his Uncle Jay, random strangers and waitresses. He just walks up to people sits next to them and starts talking to them. He starts kindergarten this year….it will be…interesting. He gives ZERO F*CK$ about what other people think, so is not going to be interested in making his teacher happy. If he is engaged and interested, he will do great. If not….he will do what ever the heck he wants. So … I’m worried. We shall see. Maybe the charm will help him out. He loves what his big brother loves. Minecraft, Roblox, Pokemon. He also loves to taunt and torture HIS little brothers. The Charm and the Adorbs go a long way, but working on getting his focus more in gear.


Miles …. my pretty wonderful sweetheart. This lil guys is shy, loves cuddles and loves his alone time. He is my lil introvert with a curly mop of hair. He smiles and just makes you calm. Miles loves books, loves Team Ummie Zoomie (Or however you spell it), and LOVES as in LOOOOVES cars. He sleeps with a lil matchbox limo my mom got him. He is crazy smart, knows his letters and how to shape them. Knows his colors, shapes, numbers. BUT has a bit of a speech delay. Some of his sentences come out “mama, blahbmamahdbablababa” and then some come out “mama, look car!” or “JackJack, my turn with the tablet” (YES WE TABLET! my house my rules) but I definitely think he is behind but with some more focused time, I think he will get some strong progression. He will be starting preschool with his brother this fall.


Jack, Miles’ fraternal twin, like Ethan…is a charmer. He has DIMPLES! DIMPLES!!!!! They are so honkin cute. He is a little bossy pants. ” Mama, Finish your food!”; “Daddy, No, we watch SuperWhy!” ; “Charlie, Get down from the counter!”. But he is also crazy into cuddles. This kid will cuddle up w. me on the couch anytime. And my goodness is this kid smart. He can figure out mechanics, letters out of straws, puzzles. Also has a bit of a speech delay but not as pronounced as Miles. He has a Sourpatch Kids relationship with his twin. On one side, he bites his brother, takes stuff from him and then on the other side if Miles cries, he is first to bring Miles his blankie. He always asks for two snacks or treats so he can bring one to Miles. If someone is being mean or even telling Miles ‘No” he gets all bossy pants and tells that person off.


They are adorable lil twinsies!

So we have my husband and me with the kids but we also have our au pair. We had Michel from Germany for 2 years and he just left so now we have Renato from Brazil.


Michel has become a huge part of our life, we are so sad to seem him go and I am making sure that he comes and visits later this year. He’s like a little brother to me now! And the boys adore him. He is back in Germany and starting school. We had many great adventures including him coming out of the closet while he was in America. It was great to witness his getting to know himself! Talked with him through that journey and different guys he dated, different heartbreaks. And we got to binge watch Lost and Game oF Thrones together…not to mention all the super geeky movies I made the poor guy watch.

Now we have Renato, also in the pic, to the left. Renato is from Brazil and the kids have taken to him wonderfully. I am looking forward to the family having great experiences with him as well as we get to know him and I get to regale him with all my 80 geeky movies all over again!

So that is what we have been up to. Last I posted we had just taken on Michel and we had recently moved to a larger house to accommodate the crowd. The boys share rooms in pairs, have a guest room, master, 2 offices and the au pair room. Au pair gets their own bathroom, mini fridge and the room is opposite the other rooms so some privacy as well.  The best part of the move is all the places to hike! Ill do a post on some of our hiking adventures soon. We are further into the country and I LOVE IT. Farms, farm fresh eggs and veggies, wildlife, trees…ohh trees!, wildflowers, exploring….oh so awesome.

More to come shortly…I PROMISE!


Holy Cats….Unemployment for the first time in …15 years

BouncingBoysSo I lost my job. The company I was working for had to lay some of us off. It kinda sounds dirty…so you got LAID….off? you got OFF….of a job….? Yup My mind continues to operate in 12 year old boy mode. I blame my 4 boys. Well..5 if you include the husband….6 if you include Michel our 19 year old au pair from Germany…so its me in this house with ….6 boys…perhaps I need a blog name change?

On the upside..this is the first time I have been sans employment since I was 15 years old. Wow I have been working for the past 10 years…ok 15….OMG more than 15…I WILL NOT GIVE AN EXACT NUMBER! So this is actually turning out to be a much needed break. A time to reflect on what I really want to do. A time to grow my sk ills like using to grow my java skills. A time to level my WOW characters as they deserve! dammit.

OH YEAH AND I have kids…so I am using this time to hang with them and make myself queen in my household (not that I wasn’t already..just reinforcing my awesomeness) So Charlie (5) and Ethan (3) have been hiking a lot with me. The twins (almost 2…OMG) are now climbing out of their cribs..escaping their room…and WRECKING HAVOC EVERYWHERE. On a high note…since I have had the free time, Ethan has become potty trained. YAY!

But the twins continue to be the most biologically waste challenged children I have ever encountered. They poop in the tub EVERY TIME. They strip naked and throw their diapers like mardi gras  beads at each other EVERY MORNING AND NAP. They are FACINATED with the sand box that is the cats litter box and no matter how we hide/disguise/007 it, they FIND A AWAY!

Luckily they are cute. Luckily they are the most cuddly lil monkeys on the planet. Luckily they are my babies and I wont be having any more tiny ones. So they are forgiven…often…at least as long as I have wine in the house.

Luckily I also have our au pair, Michel. The dude is a freakin’ baby whisperer. They all adore him. He has that big brother vibe they all love and he is crazy about them.

So yeah, I cant complain too much, I am unemployed and I have a rockstar watching my kids 40-45 hours a week. So I really get a chance to relax for the first time in ages, get some projects done, look for a job and OMG SLEEP IN! HOLY CRAP! THE SLEEPING IN! I forgot how F’ING AWESOME THAT IS! sleeping in is like 9 am…but its GLOORIOUS! Then I get on my job sites and my javascript/python apps to build on my skills…but that is in the comfort of my bed…with out the 4 adorable monkeys distracting the crap out of me. Its pretty damn glorious and definitely helps with the optimism.

Not to mention…its spring.

It was frakin 70 degrees today!

While my anxiety driven side is working my ass hard to find a good job…the part of me that knows I need this break is taking it all in! And I’m training…running …hiking..walking…its awesome and feels great!


The First 4boys Broken Limb

Ethan broke his arm a couple weeks ago…but I was CLUELESS. So I guess he was jumping from his dresser to his bed and fell on his arm. We had assumed that he just sprained his wrist. He would hold it and didn’t like it being moved. So we made him a sling out of one of my scarfs and waited to see how it felt the next day.



Here is Ethan with his lovely yellow silk scarf sling…while babies climb on the table…and yeah I have NO IDEA what that is stuck to his back.

So the next day, which was New Years day, he still didn’t want to use his arm for anything and we decided it was time to get him checked out. He charmed the emotional pants off of every one there! The lady up front who was helping us, loved him. When we were done w. her and being sent back, Ethan said ‘Thank you Doctor!” and she was just tickled, and replied, “Well Im not a doctor, but your welcome!” Then in the observation room, the nurse walks in and Ethan goes up to her and says ” WOW PRETTY BLUE EYES!” OMG she melted.

The nurse checked him out, and verified that she believes its a break so they set up time in the X-ray. We go back to the X-ray, had him lay down on a table and the X-Ray up above started making some noises (which kinda freaked him out) and we had to keep him still for about 5 minutes…AKA ETERNITY. They were able to show us the pics right away and then the doctor came and explained what we were looking at. It was a small crack in the bone.

Image from:

They believe when he fell he landed on his elbow, which caused the break.

The put him in a temporary cast, or splint, which was kinda cool, the took out of a large box, which had this material in a roll and measured the length of his arm and then the length of the material and cut it. They then opened the cloth and wrapped it around his arm, then wrapped THAT w. a wrap and put it all in a cute dinosaur sling. We had instructions to go see a pediatric orthopedist the next day for a real cast.

ethan dino sling

The next day we went to the ortho and they put the full cast on him. This cast was called a long arm cast since it went from the knuckles to the upper arm. It was made of plaster of paris. First the wrap the arm in thick fluffy cotton then wrap wetted plaster stripes around the cotton and let it dry in place. We had instructions to make sure it didn’t get wet…which made bathtime FUN! But other wise, he was totally cool w. it. He called it his big bandaid, and loved to use his broken arm as an excuse. “Ethan, clean your room” ” But mommy, broken arm!” “Ethan, Finish your dinner!” “But, broken arm!” and then would proceed to jump off the couch.  He defiantly didn’t let it get in his way, and he slept great even though he had that big honking think in the way.

About 3 weeks later he went in, had an X-ray and the doctor determined that the cast could be taken off! Yay! Although the break is still there, but much diminished, is still healing. SO my crazed 3 year is not allowed to bounce, jump, play, roughhouse or anything else that his crazy 3 year old self may want to do. Kinda wished they could have kept it on if thats the case! But I get that we had to take it off so his arm is being used as well.

SO that is the story of the 1st 4boys broken bone! Im sure there will be many more! But learned alot from the experience. A broken bone IS NOT OBVIOUS! If your kiddo isn’t using his limb, definitely bring him in to the ER to get checked out! I did not expect a broken limb when we went it, thought it would just be a sprain. He wasn’t in pain unless it got hit. He wasn’t misformed or arm in a funky way. So yeah…I was clueless. Learn from my inexperience dumbassery!

Step 1: Diet Changes

I’m attempting to go mostly Paleo this month. This last month I have been doing baby steps. I went full paleo last year for 4 months and lost 15 pounds, along w. 6 inches off my waist….but then Christmas happened and I fell off the Paleo wagon.

So last month I cut out Dairy and Gluten and started eliminating delicious calorie bomb beverages like soda, beer, lattes and my kids juice boxes (yes I LOVE THEM DAMMIT). I am keeping goat cheese very lightly and the occasional glass of wine…cuz yeah… I have 4 boys. My therapist (yes, I have a therapist, she helps me to not run away to Mexico) suggested the start w Dairy and Gluten due to a possibility of Leaky Gut Syndrome. I will post more on this later, but to reduce anxiety the first approach we are taking is to clean up my diet. We are going very holistic w. anxiety treatment. (I will probably do a post on this as well) My husband is VERY happy that I am cutting out dairy due to the evil noxious fumes that occur when I dare entertain a cheese pizza or pint of ice cream…yeah… its gross.


Regular beverage replacement has been pretty much water and tea, which is cool cuz I love both. Give me a cup of Earl Grey with lemon or Green Tea straight up and I’m a happy gal.

This month I am kicking it up another notch. I will be eliminating all processed foods (except the occasional protein bar for mornings I don’t have time to make breakfast…like this morning), taking out rice, potatoes, processed fruits and cereal. Big focus on upping my water intake.



Breakfast: Today I had a protein bar and a cup of tea, so not perfect, but yesterday I had banana pancakes…as in 2 bananas and 2 eggs mashed up w a bit of cinnamon and fried up like a pancake…it was delicious!!

Lunch: Salad (I hate iceberg lettuce so I go w. fresh greens like arugula) w. pecans, chicken and a vinaigrette dressing

Dinner: Chicken roasted w. lemon slices and a side of asparagus and sweet potato hash.


After months of laziness and not working out….IM BACK. I have been a total bump on a log, a bug in a bed…..conserving my energy for my crazy horde…has been my excuse…but I was just letting the anxiety and stuff take over for a while there and not focusing on the stuff that can make it go away!

Its crazy…like a catch 22….I KNOW exercise makes the anxiety go away..its makes me feel better…it makes me NOT FAT….it makes me a better mom….but once you fall out of routine its SO HARD TO GET BACK IN!

SO after months of saying I am getting back in…I am finally in..I rowed and did leg day yesterday and even that one time made me feel so better. I realized I MISSED the sore muscles! I MISSED the adrenaline rush. I MISSED the positive effects of working out!


Is this Vertigo?

Ok this is more a question to the public rather than a blog post. Since Sunday I have been experiencing some funkiness….and its getting progressively more funky. I feel 100% healthy other wise, no nasal issues, no soreness or anything in my through, no nausea. But something is up.

So its kinda faintness meets a lil dizziness meets medicine head meets tunnel vision/spotty vision and its at its worst when I am walking.  I only seem to get it sitting when I turn my head really fast.

Is this vertigo?

Should I be worried?

Should I be high tailing it to the hospital or will it just snap back and go away?

halp1 cinderellafrog

The hardest part of leaving for work…aka IM SORRY BABY!!!!! I LOVE YOUUUUU!!!!!!


Srsly this breaks my heart. I just want to go back in and cuddle him! The older are ok as long as I give them a ‘hug, kiss, i love you, i miss you’ when I leave. Jack usually doesn’t notice, Miles totally notices when I am getting ready to leave, follows me and tries to climb me the whole time. And then when I go out the door….this….OMG….heart breaking. I want to hug him so bad.